Chris Grosse, the man behind all of the athletic department marketing at Georgetown University, has created quite a stir. During a men’s soccer game against UCLA, Grosse released a press announcement about an upcoming event entitled Millennial Day. The statement read:
WASHINGTON – Head out to Shaw Field on Sept. 4, #MotivationMonday, at noon to watch @GUHoyasMSoccer face @UCLAMSoccer in an epic celebration of #dope millennials. So take a break from scrolling through memes, getting #swole at the gym, and taking snaps of lattes to show your insta followers that you are #involved and #sporty by watching men’s soccer take on UCLA!
At #MillennialDay, you can expect only the most #awesome giveaways (because millennials expect everything to be free) and the most hella cool activities. So that everyone feels welcome at Shaw Field, a #dabbing safe space will be roped off, as well as a halftime naptime break if you ~can’t even~ stay awake for the whole game.
If you’re #thirsty, enter the raffle for a DC area juice gift card. As long as you’re like, basically on time for the game, you will be greeted with not only words of praise but also a PARTICIPATION TROPHY because all #millennials are #special. And for all your social media needs, our mascot, Jack the Bulldog, will be available to take some #Kardashianworthy pregame selfies that you can take and post for either during the game or for a hype #tbt.
BTW, don’t even worry about #awk social interactions during the game–in the #MillennialCommunicationSection, all verbal conversation will be prohibited. Communication will go directly through your smartphone.
Be sure to check out normal ticket info at WeAreGeorgetown.com–but, since #millennials are #ambitious, tickets will be FREE for attendees who have held at least three jobs in the last three years, and have these jobs listed on their LinkedIn profiles.
For those fast-paced #millennials who are just, like, too busy to attend the whole game, tickets will be available for either the first or second half in order to combat the rampant epidemic of #FOMO.
So be sure to head to Shaw Field on for #MillennialDay for a game that fits perfectly into your Google Calendar.
We have to applaud Georgetown for this hilarious press release and event. What good are we if we can’t make a little fun of ourselves, huh millennials?